Thursday, August 8, 2013

#2: Your Will Be Done


Sweet Eden:

You've been on my mind all day.  I dreamed about you all last night.  I dreamed that I was trying as hard as I could to rescue you.  But success was just out of reach the whole time.  I found out last night that this mysterious Ehlers Danloss syndrome could potentially be way more serious than I've been imagining.

I'm scared: scared that this is going to hurt, and that I can't save you or me or your sweet mom or your strong dad from pain that doesn't get better.  Now we wait until the next doctor's appointment, which should be in 3 months time.  Until then, your mom and Grammy and I and the hundreds of other people who already love you get to show off our faith muscles by trusting in the unknown. 

I'm not trusting that you are going to be miraculously healed, or that this will be easy.  Jesus hasn't offered us an easy life--He offers us a life where we abide in Him.  There's a song I love that says: 'When I don't understand, God, I get to choose You.'  I'm trusting in a Person, not in a circumstance. 

Here's who I get to trust in:
The Lord who rules over your body.
The Lord who's gracious and compassionate. 
He's abounding in love for you and for me.
He's your real Savior.  In my dreams and in real life I can't save you--Jesus can.
He did this on purpose.
He will take care of us.
The Lord will craft this story together so that we reflect His glory.  When we reflect His glory, we're doing what we were built to do, which means it's for our best.

Part of me hopes that we're wrong and you don't have this syndrome.  But the Lord's will is better than mine.  His is more merciful and loving and all-encompassing for you.  So the part of my heart that I need to trumpet is the one that surrenders to whatever the Lord has for you.

He has you in His hand.  He loves you sweet child.  My His will be done.

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