#10 Someone needs a spanking.

You know your sweet grammy?  The precious little woman who’s bundled in love? 

I’m scared of her.

When I grew up, she was 100% as loving and kind as she is now, but that came out in some pretty prickly ways toward me and my temper.  I was a very sassy child, and she was a very faithful disciplinarian.

This pattern happened over and over growing up:

1. Something bad happens (usually my fault).
2. Mom calls me out on it.
3. I give her sass.
4. She won’t take it.
5. We fight.  Depending on my age, a spanking might be included here.
6. I storm upstairs and lock the door.
7. I cry a lot.
8. Angry tears turn into sad tears.
9. I accidentally fall asleep.
10. I wake up and for a moment forget what just happened.
11. I remember.
12. The guilt is too much to bear.  I see I was really wrong.
13. I figure out an apology speech and practice a couple of times.
14. I hang around my room building my courage and waiting until my eyes aren’t red anymore.
15. I go downstairs.
16. I apologize.
17. Mom forgives me.
18. We hug.
19. I cry more, but happy tears.

The period between #6 and #14 are the darkest periods of my childhood.  My world totally stopped for however long it took.  But then post apology, my world began again. 

Today, I had a major bad attitude at work.  My heart was really really sassy.  I left my office so my coworkers didn’t get burned by being in the same room as me and went and sat in an empty spot to get a handle on my heart.  There I realized: ‘I need a spanking.’

Mom was by far the biggest factor in tempering my anger and stubbornness.  Were it not for her, I’d be completely unfit to be an adult.  But her role in that for me is over now.  She’s finished shaping me in that way.  So what do I do now when my attitude is wrong?  I see three different possible directions:

1. I ignore it and keep moving forward following my feelings.
2. I see the problem, and try hard to fix it on my own.
3. I see the problem, apologize to God, and listen for what He wants me to do.

Which direction to choose?

Answer Key:

1. Since I know my feelings are fickle friends, this direction ends either in trouble with my boss or trouble with the law.  I don’t want either of those, so this answer is WRONG.
2. Since I’m prone to blame shift, this direction would lead me to see how I could fix everyone else, all the while missing how I’m truly to blame.  This would lead to lots of judging, relationship strain, and not living in reality.  So this answer is also WRONG.
3. This one is RIGHT.  It's the hardest on the front end, but the easiest on the long term.  The Lord is my ultimate Disciplinarian.  When I apologize to the Lord, my world can begin again.  He directs me to the right place and shows me what to do.

Get ready Eden.  One day you’ll realize that your mom and dad are finished with disciplining you.  You’ll be a full grown up.  When that happens, be careful that your relationship with the Lord becomes no less childlike.  You’ll outgrow your parents’ shaping, but never the Lord’s.